i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
