i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
