Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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