I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh god it's open bar.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
