can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
