I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
