ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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