When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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