O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
