Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
