HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
