hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
