I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
