woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
