But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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