I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
