I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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