I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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