So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
