New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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