Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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