I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
