i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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