He disabled his match.com account in front of me
love makes seman taste better
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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