Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
