found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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