I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
