Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
