Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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