I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it glows. i had to have it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
