I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
