We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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