i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
