fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
