I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
