And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
