the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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