Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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