Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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