hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
