Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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