You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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