i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
