Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
