why didn't you poke me back
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I FOUND THE LEGS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
