his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
