i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
