Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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