Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
