fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
