No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
